hmm, someone just told me that my blog is the saddest one that she has come upon with so far..haha..so here..imma try to make a HAPPY entry tonight. imma also try to be a lil OPTIMISTIC tonight.hehe..=) ok? so here...
I LOVE YOU..BUT how come I can't feel the love that I want to receive from you? You have said those three words to me a lotta times already BUT how come I can't feel it? Am I just too demanding? Am I just expecting too much from you?
I want YOU to be here with me always I want YOU here beside me... to comfort me and to LOVE me. BUT how come you're not? YOU're near, YET sooo FAR...
Is it that your LOVE is already here beside me but I am just too demanding? And because of that, I can't see what YOU are already sacrificing? BECAUSE of expecting tooo much from you that I already became blinded to what you are GIVING? And I see that as being NOT enough? Or is it the other way around? Is it because you just don't give your best to satusfy me? Is it because YOu really don't love me? And that I am just your "GF" and not your lifetime partner? Why can't I answer all of these? WHy is that when I am asking you these things all you can say is "I'M SORRY"? Why can't I have an explanation from you? WHY WHY WHY?
You know what, bloggie? I have missed you sooo much! =) hihi...
So..it's been a month now, since I haven't written on this blog of mine. Hmm..I don't know what came over me that I began writing again. Well, the obvious reason is B-O-R-E-D-O-M-E.. Ok, umm, lemme start by sharing with you my college life. First thing of all, ALL OF MY FRIENDS THERE ARE GREAT! They are sooo fun to be with.. and They're not just there in good times but they are also there whenever I have problems or when I need something. What else? hmm, all the teachers there are wonderful! I never thought that college would be this FUN and I thought that I would never really enjoy it but I was wrong.. College is the total opposite of what I thought about it. Hopefully, I would pass my five-year course and continue with med proper if that is part of what God has already planned for me. That's it for now! I am eating right now, that's why I can't think of anything much to write BUT eat! =p Oh and I would like to greet my friend macky because I know that YOU are very eager to read this..wahahaha
Free Writing: My Thoughts... The World. What's happening to our WORLD at this present time? The evil things are surfacing the news all around the world. Heinous crimes are rampant nowadays. In every corners of the world, there are lots and lots of killings that's happening and have already happened. Suicidal rates are are growing faster and faster every second. Prostitutes have already taken up a large percent of our world's population. As time goes by, the world is not a safe place to live in, from the very air that we breathe in to the living things that we trust. Is this "the world" which GOD has intended it to be from the very start that HE had created it? I was wondering what was it like during Adam and Eve's time or Noah's and Moses' times? Or what would I feel if I could really walk and talk with Jesus personally? *sigh* The evilness of men had driven HIM to be far away from us. I mean physically. Although I know that all of these are part of GOD's plan for all of us. I just wish that somehow I am already living during those times that Jesus is walking here on earth. Maybe the world before is such a nice nice place to live in. There's a lot of fresh air for us to breathe in, a lot of GREEN trees everywhere, and a lot of nice people whom you could talk to sensibly, people with manners and breedings, people who are really innocent and honest, people who are simply humans and not ANIMALS. *Sorry to put it that way, but that's the truth and the truth really hurts, I know.* Thinking of these things made me realized that the world today is getting worst every second of a minute, every minute of an hour, and every hour of the day. I also noticed that BAD people had already influenced and is still continuing on influencing a lot of GOOD people to do BAD things as well so that there would be only a few good men who will be left in here. I don't know how I could help but I really wanted to. SO if ever I could do anything, could you please inform me immediately? I am begging you to encourage me on thinking that we are not really hopeless after all, 'coz that's what I really feel about this world right now. Please don't think that I am going nuts in here. Hmm...or maybe...I am really becoming like one. *sigh* One could never really know what boredom could bring to people. Anyway, I missed eating strawberries..*yummmeehhh!* So, if anybody there who is reading this and who has a good heart of sharing, this is sorta like a "PARINIG" to you. Hehe. Hmm...I just wanna share that last Sunday, I finally went to church. I felt being revived. It's a good feeling though. I really wanna sing praises to God. I love those praise and worship songs. I have come up with a list of what I miss, what I don't like with my attitude and habits (hopefully I could change them), and what I HATE about life, and here it goes. I MISS... + him + eating strawberries +imported sampaloc from Thailand (the spicy ones) +going to TAIWAN +going to school +my room
Bad Attitudes and Habits...
+being mataray/masungit MOST of the time
+being a crammer
+my "spending a lot" sickness
+being cold to some people
+hurting people unintentionally (I don't know how to stop this)
+my bad attitude and habits
+to see this poor country of ours on becoming unproductive and hopeless as day goes by
It was stupid of me to let YOU go. The moment that YOU have confessed it to me. The moment that YOU have spake those words. The moment that YOU have those feelings for me. I shouldn't have let that M-O-M-E-N-T pass ...SO SO SO SO stupid of me!